Daaglikse Humor

[Kleinbekkie]

Little Jaidan comes from school one day. He puts down his bag n the kitchen where his mom is busy dishing out some curry for him. He presses the spoon in the curry looking quite depressed. He asks his Mom, "Mummy, am I an Indian like you or am I a coloured like dad?" Neesha thinks that this is a question for her husband and tell Jaidan to ask his dad when he arrives home after work.
 
Just after the Bold & The Beautiful, Derick arrives in his BMW. Jaidan ran to his dad and jumps on his lap as his dad sat in the couch. "Dad am I an Indian like Mom or a coloured like you?" "It does not matter if you are couloured or Indian. You are our child! Now why are you asking a question like that?" "I MUST know Dad. The neighbor wants to sell his bicycle for R200 and I don't know should I bargain with him to bring down the price to R100, or should I just wait till its dark and go steal the bike.
 

[Ben Geldenhuys]

Ek verstaan nie.

[Kleinbekkie]

Jammer die ene is ook in Engels.

 This true story happened in Soweto about a month ago.
A man was hitchhiking on a very dark night in the middle of astorm. The
 storm was so strong that he could hardly see his feet in front of him.
 Suddenly a car stopped next to him.  Without thinking, he got in and
 closed the door, just to realize that there was nobody behind the steering
 wheel.  The car moved off slowly. He looked ahead and saw a curve in
 theroad. Scared, he started praying, begging for his life. He was
 terrified.  Justbefore hitting the curve a hand appeared through the
 window and turned the steering wheel.

 The man, now paralysed with fear, watched how the hand kept appearing
 every time they got to a curve.  Gathering all his courage, he jumped out
 and ran to the nearest lights he could see. Wet and in shock, he went
 into a shebeen and asked for a double brandy. After drinking it, he told
 everyone of the horrible experience he just had. Everyone was silent
 when they realized he was crying.

  About half an hour later, two men came walking into the shebeen and, on
 seeing the terrified man, the one said to the other,"Mfowetu, isn't that
 the idiot that got into the car while we were pushing

[Kleinbekkie]

Ben, sukkel jy met die Kaaps of die Engels of die Kaapse Engels?

[Ben Geldenhuys]

Dit is amper Majuba naweek, waar ons 'n oorwinning oor die Britse onderdrukkers vier en skielik is hier 'n "inval" van Ingils op Bravoland.

[Kleinbekkie]

Ag jammer! Ek sal dit verwyder.

[Kleinbekkie]

Little Jaidan comes from school one day. He puts down his bag n the kitchen where his mom is busy dishing out some curry for him. He presses the spoon in the curry looking quite depressed. He asks his Mom, "Mummy, am I an Indian like you or am I a coloured like dad?" Neesha thinks that this is a question for her husband and tell Jaidan to ask his dad when he arrives home after work.
 
Just after the Bold & The Beautiful, Derick arrives in his BMW. Jaidan ran to his dad and jumps on his lap as his dad sat in the couch. "Dad am I an Indian like Mom or a coloured like you?" "It does not matter if you are couloured or Indian. You are our child! Now why are you asking a question like that?" "I MUST know Dad. The neighbor wants to sell his bicycle for R200 and I don't know should I bargain with him to bring down the price to R100, or should I just wait till its dark and go steal the bike.
 

Klein Jaiden kom een middag van die skool af. Hy stap dadelik kombuis toe, gooi sy sak op die vloer en gaan sit aan die tafel, terwyl sy ma vir hom kerrie inskep. Hy roer moedeloos in sy kerrie rond met 'n lepel en toe sy ma wil weet wat fout is, antwoord hy: "Ma, is ek 'n Indier soos Ma, of is ek 'n kleurling soos Pa?" Neesha dink dat hierdie vraag eerder iets is wat sy pa sal moet antwoord en noem dit ook so aan Jaiden.

Die aand, net na 7de Laan, kom sy pa met die BMW in die oprit opgery.  Sy pa het skaars gaan sit op die sitkamerbank, of Jaiden spring op sy skoot. "Pa, is ek 'n Indier soos Ma of is ek 'n Kleurling soos Pa?" Sy pa dink so oomblikkie na en se dan dat dit nie saak maak wat hy is nie, hulle is baie lief vir hom.
"Maar Pa, ek MOET weet, want sien die saak staan so: Ons buurman wil sy fiets teen R200-00 verkoop, maar nou weet ek nie of ek die bedrag moet afstry tot R100.00 en of ek net moet wag tot dit donker is en dan die fiets sommer gaan steel nie?"

Is dit nou beter?

[Ben Geldenhuys]

Hehe, dankie KB!

Jy maak my dag!!

[Karools]

My oudste seun was so 5 jaar toe hy gekom het met die vraag:
Pa waarvan is die hemel gemaak?

En ek struikel maar in die proses om te antwoord toe hy self die antwoord gee:

"Pa, ek dink die hemel is van plastiek gemaak, want Ma meen alles word deesdae van plastiek gemaak"


Gegroet
Karools

[Andre]

Jammer oor die brits :


After having their 11th child, a Cape Flats couple decided that enough
was enough.
 
So the husband went to his doctor and told him that he and his wife
didn't want to have any more children...
 
 The doctor told him that there was a procedure called a vasectomy but
that it was expensive. (For people staying on the Flats, paying more than R50
for anything other than booze, car accessories,tv or a sound system, is
expensive).
 
A less costly alternative, said the doctor, was to go home, get a
cherry bomb cracker (fireworks are legal in the Cape Flats!), light it, put it in a beer can,
then hold the can up to your ear and count to 10!
 
The man said : "Aag, djinne, I maait not be de cleverest oke in the
wurlt, but I dussin see how putting a cherrie bormb in a beer can, next to my ear, is going to help me."
 
 "Trust me" said the doctor...
 
So the man went home, lit a cherry bomb, and put it in a beer can. He held the can up to his ear and began to count: "Wun, twooo, fleee, forrr, faaaiife," at which point he paused, placed the beer can  between his legs, and resumed counting on his other hand!!!
 
 
This procedure also works in: Heidedal, Mitchells Plain, Soweto, Mangaung, Mamalodi and other parts of Africa

[Karools]

Andre, ek roep jou tot orde!

[Andre]

Goed, goed OOOOOOOm Karools ek sal my gedra ....... tot maandag

[Kleinbekkie]

Mooi man! Ons moet dit dalk begin implementeer!

[Afrikanermeisie]

Ek dink dit kan in Welkom ook werk (ek hoop Mangaung verwys na die plekke RONDOM Bloemfontein en nie Bloemfontein self nie??) 

[Andre]

Tel jy op jou vingertjies?

Bloemfontein is darem nog Bloemfontein

[Afrikanermeisie]

[Ben Geldenhuys]

Wanneer 'n inbreker histeries, skreeuend en bebloed in die erf rondhardloop..
MOENIE paniekering word nie. Bly kalm, haal diep asem... Korrel mooi... En skiet weer!

[Kleinbekkie]

[Kleinbekkie]

Verskoon asb. die Engels. Sal dit dalk later vertaal as ek meer tyd het.

WHY YOU CAN'T KEEP AN AFRIKANER DOWN...!!!

GEORGE BUSH was sitting in his office wondering which country to invade next when his telephone rang .

"Howzit George!", a broken English voice said. "This is Koos here from
the Doringboom Bar in Welkom , South Africa . I am ringing to inform you
that we are officially declaring war on you boet!"
"Well, Koos," George replied, "This is indeed important news! How big is
your army?"
"Right now," said Koos, after a moment's calculation, "there is myself,
my cousin Jan, my next door neighbour Lang Hannes, and the entire darts
team from the pub. That makes eight!"
George paused. "I must tell you, Koos, that I have one million men in my
army waiting to move on my command."
"Weerlig!", said Koos. "I'll have to ring you back!"
Sure enough, the next day, Koos called again.
"George, my china, the war is still on! We have managed to acquire some infantry equipment!"
"And what equipment would that be, Koos?" George asked.
"Well, we have 4 Hilux double cabs, two kombis, a bulldozer, and Vet Gert's John Deere Tractor".
George sighed. "I must tell you, Koos, that I have 16,000 tanks and
14,000 armoured personnel carriers. Also, I've increased my army to 1,5
million since we last spoke."
"Liewe Hel!" said Koos. "I'll have to get back to you."
Sure enough, Koos rang again the next day.
"George, ou swaer, the war is still on! We have managed to get ourselves
airborne! We've modified Doepie's ultra-light with a couple of shotguns
in the cockpit, and four okes from the Virginia hengelklub have joined
us as well!"
George was silent for a minute and then cleared his throat. "I must tell
you, Koos, that I have 10,000 bombers and 20,000 fighter planes. My
military complex is surrounded by laser-guided, surface-to-air missile
sites. And since we last spoke, I've increased my army to TWO MILLION!"
"Goeie vrek!", said Koos, "I'll have to ring you back."
Sure enough, Koos called again the next day. "Jis, jis, jis George! I am
sorry to tell you that we have had to call off the war."
"I'm sorry to hear that," said George. "Why the sudden change of heart?"
"Well," said Koos, "we've all had a long chat over some "Klippies & Coke", and decided there's no way we can feed two million prisoners of war."

[Karools]

Mooi man! Ons moet dit dalk begin implementeer!

Ek merk nou eers dat jy ook kom met "mooi man" 

Orde Burgers!

gegroet
Karools